I'm not going to blog about how much I dislike my job. Sure, it's fun, but I can't complain all the time, right? Besides, I haven't had to work much in the last few weeks, thanks to a demanding filming schedule, so I don't have any new horror stories anyway. Wait... Did I say "filming schedule?" Yes, I did. I make films. My dear friend Eric and I have logged many hours writing screenplays and making said screenplays into adorable little movies for the whole world to enjoy. We are currently scrambling to finish a short comedy about evil Michael Bolton-loving clones. This fall we plan on filming a short horror film we wrote almost two years ago, and there will also be more comedies to come. It is not currently a money-making endeavor, though we have confidence in our brilliance and our ability to make money with it someday. Here's a little taste of what we do: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvBrWVys6hA&feature=channel_page
Yes, I love what I do. I've said this a few times about a few things in my life, but never about a paying job. See, when it comes to careers and things of that ilk, I'm a bit of a, well, I guess you'd say I'm a bit of a failure. I've struggled with this aspect of my life since the day I graduated from college. Part of the problem has been my own laziness, some of it has to do with my location and my degree (an English degree in my little town doesn't amount to much unless you want to be a teacher, which I don't), and there's also the fact that I share my life with three other people, so I can't just do whatever I want whenever I want to do it without regard for the consequences. Sometimes I wish I had concentrated on my career a little more before stepping into married life and motherhood. These things cannot be changed now, though, so I've decided to stop punishing myself for all the bad decisions I have made and to start making better decisions now. The difficult part of this is knowing which decisions are better decisions. Whenever I start thinking about careers and jobs and such, I feel like such a child. I don't know what the heck I'm doing, and it's embarrassing. All I do know is that I want to write, and that I want to get paid for it. I also know that I'm very good at solving my own problems, so I have faith in myself and my ability to get whatever it is I'm looking for. I guess the first step is to start looking, right?
I wrote a big long rant about how wonderful and accomplished I think you are, but I deleted it. Instead I'm just going to say this: you have overcome a lot and are far ahead of many. You are not, by any means, behind.
ReplyDeleteLive by Dory's wise words, "just keep swimming, swimming, swimming."
;)