There is no fairy section.

Well. I don't really feel like blogging right now. I've had plenty of sleep, but it's overcast outside, so I feel tired anyway. I'm also feeling guilty about the fact that I am not currently at the gym. Still, I need to get this blog thing started, so I'm just going to do it. If it sucks, well, you'll know why. I'm not ashamed to admit that I phoned it in. I just hope first impressions aren't nearly as important as my parents always said they were.

So I think I'll start with an explanation for the title of this blog, since it will make sense only to those who have had the pleasure of hearing me bitch about my job. I have a total crap job working in retail, sitting at the very bottom of the social hierarchy. Some may think that garbage men and janitors have it worse, but that's not so. Those people don't have to deal with the public, so I say they have a much better deal than I do. I love people, I really do, but honestly, people are pretty stupid much of the time. Don't get insulted; you should know that when I say people I really mean the vague, nameless face of Joe Public, the people we've all heard about but have never been (right?). I'm not talking about you, even if you're guilty of any of the things I talk about. When people do these things, it's infuriating and annoying. When you do it, it's totally different and completely justifiable. Like when you talk on your cell phone while driving or when you leave your empty coffee container on some random shelf because you don't want to bother anyone and find out where the garbage cans are. It's okay if you do it, it's even reasonable. When people do it, well, there's no excuse. Got me? Good. Moving on now...

So the other day I was working my crap job doing some menial task, when a woman approaches me for help. She has her five or six-year-old granddaugther tell me what they are looking for. See, the young girl has a bit of a lisp and she's speaking very quickly, so the only words I actually understand are "fairy" and "book." She's looking for a book with a fairy in it, and possibly some stickers. Does she know the title of the book? Does she know the author? What the cover looks like? Anything? No, she does not, but the grandmother repeats the fact that there is a fairy in the book, so that should make it easier to find. I let her know that there are approximatey three billion books with a fairy in them, so I can't possibly track it down based on that simple fact. The grandmother looks at me like I'm stupid, rolls her eyes and says, "Fine. Just direct us to the fairy section, and we'll find it ourselves." I explained to her that there is no fairy section, that all books with fairies in them are going to be mixed in with all the other books with stuff in them. She stood there blinking at me, unsatisfied with my response and upset with my lack of a fairy section, and says, "No fairy section? There is no fairy section?" For a moment I thought she might cry. I tried to make her feel a little better by showing her a few fairy books I knew of, but I don't think she ever fully recovered from the knowledge that there is no fairy section.

So now I can say that I know how my parents felt when they told me about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy, who doesn't even have her own section in the book department. There's something sad, almost tragic about disillusioning someone, but also something deviously satisfying, I must say. And that's what this blog is going to be: sad, tragic, and yet, deviously satisfying. There is no fairy section, people. There never was, there never will be. But it's okay. We will get through this together. Or you will get through it all alone and I will laugh at you. Either way, it's going to be fun.